Overheard at the Laundromat
Tuesday, April 26, 2005Twice now while visiting the laundromat, I’ve noticed it’s become the cool place to hang out at if you’re a 17-year old hoodlum who wants to drink beer and listen to obnoxious hip hop.
Now maybe because in highschool I always had friends with accommodating parents, but certainly these kids can find a better place to hang out in on a friday night than the laundromat. Then again, maybe these boys are more sensitive than I give them credit for, and they just really enjoy the comforting scent of fresh dryer sheets.
Hoodlum 1: Where the fuck is Dave?
Hoodlum 2: He went to Amy’s house.
Hoodlum 1: He’s gonna be there forever! Why does he always do this?
Hoodlum 3: ‘Cos he always does this!
Note the expert use of circular logic. Poor Dave, missing out on all the underage beer drinking and spitting on the floor. Has he no respect for other people’s time? As the boys gulped down their cans of Löwenbräu, they opined on the finer points of lager enthusiasm…
Hoodlum 1: Yo, dawg, Löwenbräu is the fuckin’ bomb.
Hoodlum 2: Fuck, I know! **SPIT**
Hoodlum 1: In, like, the top 5 beers, **SPIT** it’s definitely, like, number 1.
Hoodlum 3: What about Stella?
Hoodlum 1: Man, fuck Stella! Stella’s good, but it’s no top 5. The top 5 in , like, the world are, like, Löwenbräu, ummm… Grolsch… Corona… Heineken… and, like, Kronenbourg. **SPIT**
Wow… who knew little white rapper punks were such connoisseurs of European beer! Shouldn’t they be drinking Molson Cold Shots or malt liquor or something? I can’t believe I got schooled by a kid with pants that baggy; I hadn’t even heard of Kronenbourg. I was so certain he was mixing up his beers with his Canadian film icons that I had to look up the spelling. “I’ll take 6 Kronenbourgs, and a two-four of Egöyan Genuine Draft.”
**SPIT**
Jason says:
Yo,RJ-Dawg, I’d be looking into buying a washer and dryer. Word.
**SPIT**
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beth maher says:
That is possibly the weirdest and funniest thing I have heard today. Although I was aware that beer is the new wine, I obviously wasn’t prepared for the reprecussions.
pam says:
hahaha! my first laugh on a day filled with books and image slides.
Eva says:
They obviously haven’t tried Coffee Porter yet!
zedzdead says:
Is Hoodlum 3 Satre, Socrates maybe?
Nico says:
Pfft, punks. What do they know about beer… They probably saw fidy sen chugging them or something so now they have the beer to go along with the clothing line. They didn’t even mention Zywieck and Hoegaarden. Amatuers. er… I mean… Mutha F*ckas
armchair says:
What’s with the spitting anyway? Was it like a formal beer tasting at the laundromat? Were there men in tuxedos walking around with silver buckets to catch the beer after the punks had let it linger on their palates...?
“Yo, dawg, Löwenbräu is the fuckin’ bomb.”
“Word. And it has a mild, woody aftertaste reminiscent of oak and cherrywood.”
Jenni says:
Dawg, those boys are dumb. Cos like.. everyone knows Foster’s is like one of the top 5, and Löwenbräu is like uh, bottom 5. Next to Wiedeman or like… uh, Hamm’s.... and.. Pabst Blue Ribbon. #1 on the bottom.
Foster’s, Australian for beer!!!!111
Jenni says:
Dawg, those boys are dumb. Cos like.. everyone knows Foster’s is like one of the top 5, and Löwenbräu is like uh, bottom 5. Next to Wiedeman or like… uh, Hamm’s.... and.. Pabst Blue Ribbon. #1 on the bottom.
Foster’s, Australian for beer!!!!111
james says:
Kronenbourg? This is FRENCH BEER, folks. It won’t make the top five-HUNDRED!
Hoss says:
French beer, may be so, but it’s a whole lot better than Heineken (which is Dutch if I’m not mistaken - and you would have to drink 40 or so in order for it to start tasting like beer).
Me likes Stella! And Duvel, of course. Anyone heard of that already?