John Martz

“I’m Alex and I’m here to help you…”

My pal Luc Latulippe has a pretty cool animated illustration on the frontpage of the newly redesigned Portfolios.com.

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Hey Kids!

At work I’m working on a special on underground comics for BookTV.  While scanning in textures and images from some old comic books I couldn’t help but admire one of those old ads for gags and prizes.

This particular ad, “Super Prizes or Cash” had many things I could trade in for selling Christmas cards and giftwrap to my close friends and family.

The best item?  X-Ray specs?  Hot Pepper Chewing Gum?  2-Man Mountain Tent?

The choice is clear.  None of those items even come close to this:

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The Sketchbook Journal: Horror Movie Day

This weekend friends and I saw the Australian zombie movie Undead as part of the Toronto International Film Festival and then went to see Cabin Fever:

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Top 10 Signs Your Apostle is Cheating on You

In regards to yesterday’s post, some new evidence has come to light suggesting that this book has the most depressing cover of the year, and not MTV’s Wuthering Heights.

P.S. Spiritual Facials?  I bet there’s already a Usenet group in the works…

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Not a Good Day to Be Named John

John Ritter died last night from aortic dissection after collapsing on the set of his series 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter.

Johnny Cash died last night from his long-suffering diabetes complications.

To these great Johns I tip my black cowboy hat and tumble over a sofa.

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Monster Fish! and Other Specimens

A few weeks ago I came upon a great little find at Annex Books.  Hidden in the art and design books was a little black hardcover book with a gold-foil stamping of a printing press on the cover.

It was a specimen book of printing types and ornaments from a printing office in Montreal (Lovell & Gibson, St. Nicholas Street) dating back to 1846.

There are some beautiful samples in the book.  Here’s a peek:

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Return of the Penguin

Eight years after leaving newspapers behind him, Berke Breathed is back in November with a new comic strip named (and starring) Opus.

I was never an initial fan of Bloom County, even though it was a huge success.  The only reason I was never a fan, however, is because as a kid I didn’t know it existed.  The local newspaper didn’t carry it, the local library didn’t have any books (and I checked out every cartoon-related book they had), and the only real reference to Bloom County I was ever aware of was the odd Bill the Cat t-shirt that I thought was maybe just a really ill Garfield.

But I’ve since grown to love and appreciate Bloom County, and I look forward to seeing Breathed’s voice in the papers again, even if it is only on Sundays.  I’ll wager the political climate of the U.S. of A these days has something to do with Opus’s return.

Reading news like this makes me not only miss the comic strips that are long gone like Calvin & Hobbes and The Far Side, but it also shows how a cartoonist can properly bow out when he’s finished but then still take up the pen again only when he thinks he has more to say.  It should be a lesson to the creators of the worn-out antics of Garfield, Cathy, and Marmaduke.  Give it a rest, guys (and gals).  Cap that ink and put those pens away.  Your time has come.  There are too many new up-and-comers and struggling comic artists that could be the next best thing to let that fat monday-hating lasagna monster keep taking up valuable newspaper real estate.

Luckily for us, Berke Breathed knows how to pace himself, and will only be in the Sunday pages, leaving plenty of room from Monday to Saturday for the “new classics” like Mutts, Zits, and Get Fuzzy.

No news on the return of Bill the Cat, though.  “ACK!”

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Much Ado About Muppets

I thought I’d compile a bunch of links in honour of of those wacky weirdos and whatsits—The Muppets!  Have fun reacquainting yourself with all those pigs, frogs and chickens!

The Jim Henson Company
The official website of Kermit’s foam empire.

Muppets.com
A less corporate Henson website than the first link.

Jim Henson’s Creature Shop
I never quite knew what the Creature shop logo was… it’s probably a mask, but it looks like an ookpik-type owl.

Muppet Central
This site seems to offer anything you could possibly want to know about the world of the Muppets.  Very comprehensive.

Palisades Toys
These guys make the coolest toys I’ve ever seen.  The toys are gorgeous—they’re sculpted to even look like foam, felt and feather!

Backstage Left
A nice little deposit of rare images, movies, and MP3s.

Muppet Songs
Lyrics to all those nutty songs like Mahna Mahna (and my personal favourite, Captain Vegetable).

Mostly Muppet
This appears to be an entire blog devoted to the muppets!  Heck, what do you need me for?

Can’t get enough?  More links here.

I like to think I have a healthy interest in these multicoloured puppets for a 20-something heterosexual male.  And if ever I doubt myself, I can always be glad I’m not this guy.

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Bazooka Joe and His Gang

Relive the adventures from the safety of your own home!

(Did we ever learn how Bazooka Joe lost an eye?  Was it with an actual bazooka? And what was Mort hiding behind that turtleneck?)

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Language for a Forked Tongue

Satirist Ambrose Bierce published what became The Devil’s Dictionary in weekly newspaper installments from 1881 to 1906.  As dated as it is, it’s still one of my favourite “reference” books, and many of its entries can still make me laugh.  It is brilliantly wicked and cynical.

And because it’s so old it’s in the public domain, and I’ve just found that there are numerous versions of the book floating around online.

Some of my favourite entries:

LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.

TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.

NOVEMBER, n. The eleventh twelfth of a weariness.

CAT, n. A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

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Pip and Norton toys!

If anyone’s short on ideas for birthday gifts for me, you might want to consider the new Pip and Norton figures from Critterbox Toys.  Check out that spiffy box!

Pip and Norton are two characters created by Ottawa cartoonist Dave Cooper, who is one of my absolute favourites.  Check out his work if you’re unfamiliar—imagine taking your favourite saturday morning cartoons and mixing in a little lustful sexual deviation… you’ve got Dave Cooper!

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Blip! Bloop! Bleep!

I’ve just found how I want to decorate my next apartment: blik it!

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All Greeked to Me

Attention all designers sick and tired of using Lorem Ipsum as your standard greeking.  (Non designers: greeking text is the method of filling in paragraphs of “filler” text as a placeholder to see what a typeset page will look like).

Check out The Greeking Machine for fun alternatives!

There’s pseudo German:
Biergarten das, relaxern handercloppen, blimp achtung weiner blitz ker gestalt dummkopf wearin, dummkopf, nine. Zur, pukein wunderbar haus dorkin buerger oompaloomp sauerkraut bar pretzel in.

Techno Babble:
Transistorized deviation or messaging infrared procedural backbone boolean port gigabyte, integer, servicing encapsulated disk led.

And my personal favourite—Hillbilly:
Preacher fricaseed sheep pasture what, creosote fiddle tractor. Hogjowls moonshine fiddle put crazy smokin’, rodeo hauled spell skinned fit pickled ya. Guzzled bull bible chew, fuss beat pick-up marshal. Afford hayseed done ever poor put wagon last, caught penny. Hayseed yer cipherin’ kinfolk jest coonskin.

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My Week Off

As mentioned earlier, I went to the petting zoo at the Ex this past week:

I also went camping up in Bracebridge (yes, that Bracebridge) for a couple of days:

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The Ex

Things I saw at the fair yesterday:

• An Ozzy Osbourne cover band called the Ozzy-Borns
• The crappiest haunted house in the world
• Colin Mochrie
• An elephant swallow (and then vomit) an entire water bottle
• A goat sneeze in my face
• My spare change tumble and fall to the ground from the top of the Zipper

Things I saw later on in the evening:

• Mars

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